An attachment-informed space to make sense of modern dating, understand your own patterns, and build relationships that align with your values
Dating & Intimacy Therapy
What Brings People to This Work
Modern dating is a strange landscape. Unpredictable contact, evaluation, unclear norms, ambiguity, and comparison culture can place demand on the nervous system. This work integrates polyvagal theory, attachment theory, and psychodynamic inquiry to address both the felt-sense response and its developmental origins.
We’re not here to find the "right" person faster. It's about understanding how you show up in connection, so the relationships you build are rooted in something more solid than momentum or fear.
Rather than telling you who to date or what a relationship should look like, the aim is to help you develop a clearer, more grounded sense of how you relate — and why.
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We'll look at internal working models — the implicit beliefs about self and other formed in early attachment relationships — and trace how they organize current relational behavior and partner selection.
We’ll explore how early relational experiences shape the way you seek closeness, handle distance, and respond to perceived rejection in adult relationships.
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After a breakup, betrayal, or long absence from dating — grief is still present in the room. We hold both the readiness to move forward and the parts still integrating the past.
Hypervigilance, mistrust of your own perceptions, and difficulty tolerating intimacy are often adaptive responses, not flaws. Using a polyvagal lens, we'll work to identify your relational triggers, build capacity for co-regulation, and restore a felt sense of safety — so your nervous system, not just your thinking, can recalibrate around trust and connection.
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We'll explore what you tend to avoid, where you give too much, and where you withdraw, so you can choose partners who truly align with what matters most to you
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Apps, ambiguity, situationships, the pace of it all. We'll build a steadier way to date: one that doesn't require performing or abandoning yourself
Attachment-informed. Body-aware. Values-based.
i. We start with your patterns, not your dating profile
We’ll get curious about what you bring into connection — your nervous system's responses; your defaults; your fears; your automatic thoughts about yourself, others, and the world
ii. Insight paired with processing and practice
We'll connect what you learn about yourself to real situations — a confusing text, a first date, a recurring argument — so the work translates outside the room.
iii. Relational pattern exploration
We examine how early attachment experiences are re-enacted in present-day relationships,
iv. Noticing what the apps bring up
Compulsive checking, rejection hypersensitivity after a non-match, or a flattened sense of yourself
Common Questions
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No. Many clients come in not dating at all. The relational patterns we explore are present whether or not you're currently seeing someone.
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A trusted friend offers perspective from their own relational framework. Therapy offers a clinical lens- one that tracks unconscious patterns, holds the material from a neutral, third party lens, and creates space for the parts of your experience you haven't been able to name yet.
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That's often exactly where we begin. Uncertainty about what you want can reflect how you relate, what feels safe, and what anxiety might be masking.